In my short time on this planet, I have known great sorrow, plunged into the depths of oceanic despair, been thrown so deeply into my loneliness that I thought I would never return. I have tasted the ecstatic joys of oneness, the fierce intimacy of love, the savage pains of heartbreak, the excitement of unexpected success and the blows of sudden failure.
There were times when I thought I’d never make it, times when my dreams had been shattered so thoroughly, I couldn’t imagine how life could ever go on. Yet it went on, and sometimes I found humility within the devastation, burned and crushed, knocked down, holding my heart in my hands. Out of these ashes and shambles, I still had the tenacity to imagine my future which often grew new and present joys, and no experience was ever wasted not even after the brokenness of what was left for me to fair.
I have come to trust life completely, trust even the times when I forget how to trust at all, trust that life doesn’t always go according to plan, because there is no plan, only life, and even the times of great uncertainty hold supreme intelligence, and sometimes you have to fall to stand more fearlessly, with greater kindness and love.
And somehow I am always held, in a way I cannot explain and do not want to. I may be crushed yet again before too long, I may experience further seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaks, but somehow I always get back up to walk my path. Maybe a little wiser, maybe a little more broken, but I know the scars remain to remind me, I must move forward more knowledge of life’s lessons to be gained.
Somehow I am always held.
I remain beautifully broken.
Sometime in 2016